Well, last week was rather a lackluster start. But, then again, this is ANTM.

So, the show is taking a stand for the environment and against smoking. Looks to me like someone's running out of ways to keep the show "fresh" and "original." But whatevs.

The photos look like crap. The pretty/ugly concept has already been pounded into the ground, and this one was remarkably boring on the pretty side and ugly on the ugly side. It wasn't even "pretty" ugly. It was just UGLY-ugly, to quote Moe Szyslak ("I've been called "ugly," "pug-ugly," "fugly," "pug-fugly," but never "ugly-ugly").

Also, I have to say that I was pretty surprised that Ebony actually took Tyra's advice to heart and toned down the cattiness, while Bianca turned her cat-o-meter up to full volume!

That said, I kinda enjoyed that she only made peace with Lisa for the sake of panel. If you're going to be a duplicitous cat, you'd better fully commit to the role.

And with no further ado: RANKINGS!!

13. Mila

"Hair Loss Due to Chemotherapy"

Good Lord, but that's hideous. And Mila cracking up with those wisps of hair floating around her head was just grotesque.

Her pretty picture wasn't much better. Her body looks awkward and WAY bigger than it actually is. Ugh.

I think they made the right call booting Mila. And God be praised: we won't have to listen to her perky squawking anymore.

12. Ebony

"Emphysema"

BO-RING. Of all the boring pix (and almost all of them were boring), this was the worst. She looks stiff; her face is expressionless. Granted, her "ugly" face (haha) is obscured by the breathing apparatus, but her eyes are just dead there.

11. Kimberly

"Skin Problems? Lethargy? Who Knows?"

Unfortunately, a lot of these symptoms were similar. Heck, some of them were pretty much the same.

Kimberly's problem here is that she's just boring. Her eyes are better than Ebony's, but not by much. And her pose is rather stiff, too. And her "ugly" shot looked half-hearted. If you're going to be ugly, I want to see you being UGLY!!

10. Janet

"Burn Victim"

Janet looks awfully awkward here. Her legs look weird, she doesn't know what to do with her left hand, and her face looks like we caught her in the middle of a math problem she can't quite figure out. Her burn victim is okay, but, like Kimberly, she just looks lackadaisical.

9. Heather

"Secondhand Smoke"

I really hate when two people have to be in the same pic because they usually ruin the photo by trying to outdo one another while still looking like they're cooperating and trying to help one another.

In this case, I think poor Heather got completely cowed by Saleisha.

She's a beautiful girl and I really feel for her, with all the other cats in the house conspiring against her (which, by the way, is SO junior high; they're totally threatened by her because she's gorgeous and they know that Tyra's a sucker for a sob story and not even a crackhead momma can beat ASPERGER'S).

HOWEVER, I certainly don't think this pic was all that great, let alone first-called-worthy. She looks stiff and awkward next to Saleisha, the arm on the shoulder looks really contrived, and she looks stoned in the ugly pic. I guess that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes me a little uncomfortable that, minus the makeup, that's the face Heather usually has on when she's hanging around the house with Curious George's biker cousin.

I like Heather, though, and I'm rooting for her to take it to the mattresses and go all the way. Most improved, baby!!

8. Chantal

"Tracheotomy"

So, I'm not the biggest fan of Chantal. There's something very beauty-queeny about her that I don't like.

And this picture is okay, and she's not awkward like the girls I ranked behind her. But you can't see the cigarette at all, and the pic overall really isn't all that spectacular; certainly not "perfection," as Nigel said.

On top of all that, her trach shot looks SO melodramatic and cheesy. There's a fine line between dramatic and melodramatic.

7. Jenah

"Another Chemo Baldy"

I kind of love Jenah's pose, here. It makes her look interesting and delicate, all at the same time. Virginia Slims is totally going to hire her after she gets booted from the show and she's free to smoke herself into an early, wrinkly, hairless grave.

Her ugly shot is a little melodramatic, too, though.

6. Bianca

"Gingivitis"

I'm really anal about oral hygiene, so this is the pic that stayed with me all week. Ugh, SO GROSS.

But her ugly shot is almost comical, and her pretty shot is rather boring. It is, however, VERY pretty. And her ugly shot is VERY ugly, if a little inappropriately funny (a la Mila).

I kinda love her attitude, though. She's a cat, but she totally knows it, unlike the usual "it's not me, it's everyone else" -type cats we get.

Honesty. It's rather refreshing.

5. Victoria

"Stillborn Baby"

The pretty pose. What the heck?? SO unnatural and awkward.

But the ugly pose -- she got the closest to pretty-ugly, IMO. Of course, she had the easiest assignment, but I think she nailed that part of it.

And Victoria's grown on me a little. There's something about her face that interests me, even if she is a pretentious hypocrite (you proved that you're not smarter than the other girls by debasing yourself to enter this competition).

And I have to give her props for being the only one (well, being edited as the only one, anyway) that didn't talk smack about poor Heather.

4. Sarah

"Premature Aging"

Now, that's a good pose. Look at how long her legs look! And she looks skinnier than Mila, despite almost certainly being four sizes bigger! Way to position your body, girl.

That said, her ugly pic is pretty boring. And unnecessarily wrinkly, but I guess that's not really her fault.

3. Ambreal

"Lung Cancer"

Man, her ugly pic is kinda ossom. Not as pretty as Victoria's, but, somehow, more interesting. She has just the look of a cancer patient who's so sick of coughing up blood that she's just ready to give up on life. Maybe she already has!

And her smoky pose is pretty good.

2. Saleisha

"Secondhand Smoke"

I love a picture that tells a story. This picture tells me that Saleisha is the cool girl at school, but she's being forced to do an assignment with the awkward geek. The geek is totally oblivious to her own awkwardness, but our Saleisha is well aware of it.

She's slightly repulsed by La Geek's awkwardness, but is too classy to let on.

And, in the magic aging mirror, her eighty-year-old self is looking at her, all, "Girl, it is sixty years later and I can't believe we are still sitting here! Do us both a favor and tell Geeky to get off."

Saleisha looks absolutely gorgeous in this pic.

1. Lisa

"Facial Tumor"

Her ugly pic is "meh," but her pretty pic is phenomenal!! Far and away the best post of them all. Although I'm sure that her background in erotic dance helps her to know how to use her legs to the best of her ability.

All in all, though, it was a mediocre shoot with mediocre results. The concept is kinda cool, but if you can't think of thirteen different ways to shoot it, then maybe you should wait a few eliminations before trying to use it.

What about y'all? What did y'all think?